It must be very difficult to 'BE' -when the whole world thinks you are one thing -but you are really another. It must be difficult to truly express yourself -when your image is, -constructed, owned by others [and worth Billions] -and you are not happy. It must have been difficult -to have the whole world loving you -when you can not love or connect with yourself. Thus, the excess and the loathing. The hate of your own black skin -and then , the adoration. What a crazy, crazy world you inhabited. A world where your every wish/whim is acted upon and obeyed and -thus you became a sort of God -and no man should be or can be -God [and you knew this, -because deep down you are a simple 'child of God']. And thus, the self hate and the fear. Then the plastic surgery, and more plastic surgery and more adoration, -and things got [sort of] twisted -and you started to believe the hype [and it would seem -the paler you got, -the more success you had, -removing the fear -that you may one day become like -your father]. And the more success you had -the less real your life became -causing you to become a sort of 'Peter Pan' [one of the many childhood hero's you escaped through -when you was made to work harder and give more of yourself at an age when many children are still playing], -a sort of sexless, boy/man. But instead of people telling you the truth like, 'Michael you cannot be best friends with a monkey, Michael your feet are way off the ground or Michael you have had enough surgery' -they left you to spiral out of control -turning you into some sort of 'freak show'. And we all know -'your people' enjoyed watching you become a 'freak show'; -eating all the money -but Michael,what did you care? You just wanted a childhood [because even though you were and still are loved by billions -this was never enough. Because, no matter your success Michael, -your childhood was never too far from you). I can not believe it, but like Lady Diana -I didn't know I loved you -until now, -and now, I am sort of stunned but not surprised that you have gone. Too much ***, too much fantasy, too much***, the denial, the pain, a life lived at a pace that would have killed many -sooner. A life lived on stage, -in the full unrelenting glare of the world. Did all those ugly words touch you? Did all those negative eyes, and tongues [talking rubbish about you] penetrate your soul -or were you surrounded by people who were praying and loving you? Did you have 'conscious' people cancelling, all those arrows of hate coming your way [daily]-or did the love of your fans, their goodwill and all your charity work and goodness -block the negative? What a crazy life you have lived Michael -or maybe it was normal for you. But is it possible for any one to have lived your life and not -been touched/effected or damaged by it's crazy, craziness? How can a life of excess, of having-it-all [materially] -and the pills you had to take at the end -to make you function -like your old self, -not effect the sanest of people? No, I now believe that you lived it the best way you could Michael, -God rest your soul. Michael I am sad you have 'passed over' but thankful that -your MUSIC will live on forever. I pray for your children and your family -may they live in peace and in the TRUTH -and may you, Michael -finally, be at peace -Amen. Thank you for the music...............x
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